At the clinic on Friday I got asked what day post stimulation I was on and my first response was “about 312” which the nurses seemed to find amusing. I wasn’t joking. It feels like this has been the longest cycle known to man. I am currently on cycle day 20, day 17 post stimulation which is so much longer than the last round. My first round involved three doses of menopur (the egg growing drug!) and I have just injected my 12th dose this time. How two cycles can be so completely different!
Let’s talk about my last appointment. I went in on Friday for my 6th scan, I saw a nurse I had not seen before and that always makes me nervous but thankfully she was lovely and made me feel very much at ease. As always my ovaries could not be located. Who knew just how difficult it would be to see the pesky things! So after a lot of wiggling with the probe and prodding on my tummy some reinforcements were called for. This then meant I had one nurse pushing the probe uncomfortably inside me and another one putting full force on my tummy to try and get a clear picture of my egg making pods. They kept telling me how good the lining of my uterus is, which is all very well but there doesn’t appear to be anything to implant into it!!! After many minutes of discomfort it was decided I needed one of the consultants to have a look! For this to happen I had to go into theatre! The consultant was NOT as gentle as the nurses with the evil probe, so much pain. 🙁 He did however find my ovary immediately! This is why he gets paid the big bucks! I have one egg that is measuring a “12” which means it could potentially still go ahead. I was in so much pain when he was examining me though, reminding me of how horrendous the procedure was and really scaring me again.
After he’d examine me he said we should carry on over the weekend and potentially go ahead on Wednesday, but then he said that if it wasn’t a strong cycle it might not work and that my ovaries were polycystic and I might be better off with IVF. Then sent me on my way. I know I don’t have PCOS because I have no symptoms but I am assuming that he meant the drugs make my ovaries polycystic so that means IVF would be a better option as they could let the eggs go wild. Since the appointment I have calmed down about the idea of IVF in terms of it being a harder course of treatment, BUT I have not go my head around the fact it costs so much more money.
I’m emotionally and physically drained. I have questioned what I am doing, and then felt awful for questioning it because I want this more than anything in the world.
Next scan is at 8am tomorrow. I have to go in at stupid o’clock so I can be scanned in theatre by a consultant because I’m awkward and special!! Not feeling hopeful.