Single Life

The Power Of Love

“The power of love
A force from above…”

Western society is structured around couples. There is an expectation from childhood that you will be part of a pair one day. Most stories, whether on page, stage or screen, feature love stories. A quest to find true love. The world is forever matchmaking and assuming connections between two people.

So what happens when you don’t find that partner? When you are single there is generally a lot of sympathy and pity. “Oh what a shame!”, “I can’t believe you haven’t been scooped up”, “the right person will come along.” But what if they don’t? What if you wait. And wait. And wait some more. And you are still only one “half”. I hate that expression. It implies one isn’t whole as an individual. That we all need a partner in life to be a complete human.

“I love you always forever
Near and far closer together
Everywhere I will be with you
Everything I will do for you.”

When you are perpetually single you are a bit of a social outcast. How many of you singletons out there don’t get invited to dinner parties with couples? I’m almost 37 and I have never been invited to a friends house to dine with them and another couple! The horror of an odd number!! How would the men cope with an extra woman and no man to balance things out??? Believe it or not I actually get on well with the husbands and partners. Some of whom I’d like to think of as friends in their own right. But no, as the oddity in life one must only be seen separately. Not to be integrated in normal couple life.

I’m not saying I wouldn’t like to have a man in my life. But my life and it’s worth isn’t dictated by this. It’s taken me a long time to realise that I am no less of a person because I’m single. I could have settled with a couple of people. Made myself miserable because they were there and I could have that life that is expected. It was, in fact, the ending of my last relationship 4yrs ago that made me decide to have a baby on my own.

“And you can tell everybody this is your song,
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done,
I hope you don’t mind, that I put down in words,
How wonderful life is now you’re in the world.”

Valentine’s Day is here and despite not revolving my life around romance having it shoved down your throat can hurt. Well meaning coupled people like to say “oh it doesn’t mean anything” SOD OFF Karen!! It’s a reminder that we are outcasts. That we are lonely and alone according the the world.

My love,
There’s only you in my life,
The only thing that’s right.
My first love,
You’re every breath I take,
You’re every step I make.”

I’ve never been a massive fan of love songs as they make me sad. However, this last year had made me realise love isn’t about romance, it isn’t about sex or marriage, it isn’t about boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives. Love is about what you feel in your heart. Love is about someone being your everything.

I’ve been having a listen to some of the most famous love sings and the lyrics resonate. I know those words now. My heart knows the love I have for Scarlett.

I know now that “I’m everything I am because you loved me.” This is just another day in the year I can finally say “at last”!

At last my love has come along,
My lonely days are over,
And life is like a song. Oh yeah, yeah.
At last
The skies above are blue,
My heart was wrapped up in clover,

The night I looked at you,
I found a dream, that I could speak to,
A dream that I can call my own
I found a thrill to press my cheek to

A thrill that I have never known, oh yeah, yeah.
You smile, you smile
Oh and then the spell was cast,
And here we are in heaven for you are mine at last.

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1 thought on “The Power Of Love

  1. I was single, without a steady relationship until 44 years old and I recognise all of the situations and feelings that Kimbo comments on. Living in Spain was really difficult, if not miserable, as the family, commencing with the marriage ceremony, is placed very high in the societal mind. However, I also think that the UK provinces focus on family and couple life more sharply than Londoners do, making singletons feel out of place and isolated. London attracts so many diverse people and the lack of partnering is much less important.

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