About ME

Hello, this is where I am meant to tell you a little about me, which is hard really as this entire blog is all about me! I am a single lady (I hope you are all singing!) of 34 who is embarking on a big journey into motherhood. Alone. My entire life all I have ever wanted is to be a mummy…and here I am attempting to go against the grain and break a few social rules to get there. You might be saying there are no social rules around parenthood anymore but deep down we know they still exist. And even though I do love a rule, this time I am breaking them to do things my way!

I’m at the very beginning of my journey to be a mother but it is something I wanted to share. When making the decision to become a “single mother by choice” and to have a “donor baby” (I’m not sure I like either of those labels but I will use them for now!) I realised that there really isn’t all that much out there from woman who have actually done it. There are more stories from America but I want to stand up there for the British mummies going this route.

The blog will tell my story along the way but will also touch upon the other aspects of my life and how they can all come together to create a happy me, and in time a happy child. So look out in the future for posts about mental health especially depression and anxiety, weight issues and eating disorders, finding work as a creative, self discovery and education! I’m a mixed bag!

I am intending for this to be an open book and I will be identifying myself in time, but I wanted to wait until I feel safe and secure in pregnancy to do this.

Welcome to my journey!

5 thoughts on “About ME

  1. I feel like I’m having a sliding doors moment – we are incredibly similar except I moved (or rather, was moved) as a toddler from England to Australia as a child. I had decided at around age 34 to become a SMBC and started seeing a FS but then went to a new rheumatologist to find out how to deal with what I thought was a flare up of my ankylosing spondylitis, when he diagnosed me with fibromyalgia as well. Already in the midst of anxiety and depression caused by bullying at work (it sounds so ridiculous when I say it but it’s true) and living a few hours’ drive from my family, I doecided I needed to get my fibro ‘under control’ before I could have a baby. That was naive and I soon realised I couldn’t control it. As I wasn’t strong enough to be able to pick up a baby in the mornings, I decided I couldn’t be a mother to a baby so explored other options for creating my family (eg fostering and dating single dad’s). It all got too heartbreaking so I gave up and at 36 I gave up but sort of accidentally met my now husband. We knew quickly we were meant to be together. He had worked in child care for 12 years and now in disability support and I thought this is a man I can trust to be an involved father not just a passenger. Unfortunately I found just after we were married that I’m infertile, likely due to endometriosis. 5 rounds of IVF including 4 stim rounds, 5 transferred embryos and a frozen one that didn’t survive the thaw, and we’re about to go into a donor cycle with my sister in law’s egg and a donor’s sperm but we haven’t chosen him yet. I’m pretty terrified of pregnancy with fibro and AS so I’m so pleased to have found someone online who is so similar! And here you are, you had the courage to go it alone whereas I gave up. I’m so excited for you! Sorry about all the info about me but I just wanted to point out all the similarities. I also had an eating disorder in the past and have a ‘why I didn’t report story’ or two that I’ll never tell.

    1. Hello Katy,

      I am so sorry that I haven’t replied before! I have just found your comment and oh my goodness do we have a lot in common!! I am sorry that your rounds of treatment have not worked so far but it is exciting to hear that you are about to embark on donor conception…you may already be pregnant!

      I have actually found that my fibro and AS haven’t made my pregnancy any harder that most. I stopped most medication before conception and stopped injecting my final meds at 20wks. I have SPD and use crutches a lot now and I won’t lie, I am in immense pelvic pain but I am not letting it stop me from enjoying the pregnancy. My midwife has said I am coping so well because I am used to being in pain so I know how to manage it, she has said it may help me in labour too as my body and brain know how to handle it, we shall see.

      I can assume from your comments you have found me on twitter, feel free to DM if you like. xxx

  2. I’m so glad I have found your blog. I am eagerly looking forward to reading your blog posts as you embark on this amazing journey. I have a blog dedicated to single motherhood and I hope I’ll be able to feature you because you are super inspiring.

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