Today is Mother’s Day in the UK. It’s a day I’ve found hard my whole adult life. A day that reminded me that so many people around me were mummies and had these beautiful little people in their lives. I have so many special children in my world and I am so lucky to be a part of their lives and honoured to spend time getting to know them and helping my friends with the tough days while sharing the fun time. But I still have always had a gaping hole in my heart. Would I ever get to share Mother’s Day with my children? It has felt for years that I would never get to the point where it was my day to celebrate too, every year I put on a brave face and I post a positive and loving status on Facebook to celebrate with my family and friends. It’s always been important to me to not be that person who brings others down and wallow in my own misery on this day. As I have said, I am lucky to be a part of these childrens’ lives and I treasure that.
Last year was especially hard, Mother’s Day was right on the back of my second failed round of IUI. I was heart broken, I was disappointed, I was worried about the financial implications of moving on to ivf, I felt fat, I felt like it was never ever going to happen. I had hoped to be pregnant by Mother’s Day last year and another year had come by when I wasn’t. It was hard.
Today is Mother’s Day in the UK. Today I hold my month old baby girl in my arms and look at her with awe. It did happen. I did get here.
Scarlett Imogen Nancy arrived on 25th February. She’s beyond perfect and I still can’t quite get my head around the fact she is here and she is mine. The last month has been a rollercoaster of emotions. It’s been intense, terrifying, wonderful, incredible and full of love, anxiety, questions and so many beautiful cuddles. It’s been everything I imagined and nothing I expected!!
Today I can celebrate being a mummy with the rest of them. I waited and I prayed and I hoped. I worked hard to get here and it paid off. Happy Mother’s Day to me!!